Wonderful Days

Day 1

Yes, yes, I am dieting. Again. God, I don’t know how many times I’ve tried so far… but failed. I hate it. Anyways! Today is day one of the diet. It went… horribly. I read the master cleanse diet, was going to try it out but it didn’t work. I ended up eating some lays in the end. GAH! Shyyte. <<;;

Food: Lemonade, Cupcake, Lays and one chicken nuggest.

Day 2

Saturday being the hardest day to diet makes it all the worse. Wondering why? Well, today I went to my school’s fund raising golf kart day. Of course it being a fun raiser, they’ll sell all sorts of food. One of my favorites: borewors rolls and chips stix. Fortunately, I was able to resist the borewors rolls but had a few chips from a friend who so “kindly” offered. Mission failed. Again. But the worst was yet to come, After being tempted with food, I had some fritos in the movies. D: When will this end? Oh no, it doesn’t end says my mental state of hunger… My uncle cooks the nicest smelling food that day… So I ate dinner.

Food: Lemonade, water, 1/4 sandwich, 3 pieces of chips stix, 1 packet of fritos, 1/3 bowel of rice with beef, tofu and some potatoe strips.

Day 3

Sunday. Slightly easier day, I read a little more about the Master Cleanse Diet. Some said it worked and others argued that it did not. I’ve been good until… my mother came a long with spring rolls. Oh yum yum yum. So I ate 4 spring rolls. D: That’s it tomorrow is Monday. I will NOT fail Monday. @_@;;

Food: -Bugger it- I ate dinner at night again. >__<;;

Day 4

Monday. At school all is going well so far. I made my lemonade, went to school~ Ate 2 cereal bars (I don’t actually want to fast but rather eat less). I had to walk home to fetch my racket to play squash and then all the way back again since my dad couldn’t take me today. Oh well. Anyhow! Feeling tired… Ate an apple. Drank some more lemonade. I hate the fact that I’m at home and there’s TONS of food at home right now. Grrr… I’ll make sure to weigh myself tomorrow morning.

Food so far: Lemonade, 2 cereal bars, 1 apple, 1/6 chicken pancake thing, Rice with some veggies.

Day 5 -A somewhat failed day

I had forgotten to weigh myself today. Or rather, my dad took too long in the shower and I couldn’t go it before heading off to school. Damnit. D: I did however get a chance to measure myself. Everything besides my tummy has stayed pretty much the same. Tummy droped 1.5 inches. But anyways. Feeling a slightly more energetic today. I had a chocolate muffin too~ After my energy just sored sky high. An apple in the morning with some tea felt good~ but I bought a special K bar along with me just in case. Well, I ate it. After school, I had some salad, went straight to karate. After I got home again was when the trouble really started. I had 3 samoosa’s and some peanuts. Then after feeling a bit hungry again, one more special K bar. As I look back, I wish I had properly follwed the diet because by now I would have lost a lot of weight/fat already. Siigh and would be half way through it. Geez. I’m a failure.

Food: 1 apple, 1 chocolate muffin, 2 specail K bars, Salad, Peanuts, 3 small samoosas and of course, water/lemonade.

… I grow fonder of my youth. The memories I had.

“There’s nothing more important to me than right now. Right now is all I have. Today, this moment is what everyone lives for.  Because for me, tomorrow is uncertain and cannot be planned.”

Yet. I plan every step of my life, in hopes of one day becoming someone I WANT to be. Will any of this tht I write now even pay off later? Who knows. Looking 5 years back, I never thought I’d turn out this way. Friends? Yes, many. Family? All alive and well. Life? Planned and sorted. . . . Now what?

Well for the past week since I’ve last posted, my routine has changed. Everyday instead of thinking of what to do and being bored out of my mind, I think of everything that I need to do and having no time to spare. Strange yet good things have been happening. Or rather, I think that they’re good signs.

First of all, I have two part time jobs. Three counting one that I only need to attend once every blue moon. Designing and retailing. I’m looking to be a waitress as well. Maybe its too much you say? Probably. But I like the challenge. Although, it does mean giving up part of my social life- not that I have one in any case. There’s a lot to juggle here and there~ I’m just glad I’m not bored.

Strange how I always thought of myself as a guy. Or rather as someone everyone likes yet only as a great friend. I cannot begin to explain how strange and awkward it is when someone tells me they have feelings for me. I find it amusing yet somewhat saddening. Its unfair. To realize that a person was only nice to you because they were interested in you. Oh, how things change after you reject them and say, “Sorry, but I don’t return those feelings.” Why? I miss those times when I could be nice to just about everyone and get treated the same without having them confess to me. I was always there for anyone who needed me - as a friend. I always thought of the better side and how great of a person they really are - until now, I realize, they only reason why they seemed so nice was because they liked me. Not because they were my friend to begin with. Yes, its nice to have people like you. But you’ll soon realize that you’d much rather have your old friends back then the new ones that have emerged.

That brings me to the picture. I don’t even look like me. I wonder if that’s God sees me every night when I lie in bed. I‘ve had people say its not me or I had photoshopped it to a stage where no one could recognize it. Ah well. Does it matter? As long as I know that’s me, as long as I live my life the way I want to live it, does it matter how I look? Nope. Not at all, not one bit.

Currently, am doing 200 sit ups a day, mind you, they’re obviously not “proper” ones, but I do make an effort and go all the way up, only without my arms on my head. As well as 80 side kicks, 40 lunges - those are killers and 40 arm weight lifts. You could say I’m obsessed? Or not quite, just doing something healthy for a change. I’ve never really measured myself at all, not that it was necessary, but its an interesting thing to know about yourself. Ever heard of woman’s three sizes? BWH? I’m guessing the Japanese use it more often then America, so its not very well known. But It basically stands for “B=bust W=waist H=Hip”. No, not that anyone cares to know mine~~ I just thought it would be interesting to discuss it. - Yes, i am weird like that.

On a saide note, my mother came back from China. I finally got my glasses, which means no more contact lenses paining my eyes. Joy of joy. Now, I need to sleep. Anyone care to discuss your world, views and BHW sizes? ;D